Wednesday 12 July

It's been quiet. I was at work yesterday and today. Thoughts of times with Barbara come into consciousness every so often and I think this is grief slipping out - I don't want this to end. It is two weeks since I kissed her forehead but her body still awaits the funeral. I'm sure things happened more quickly in the past. This weekend I visit a TS friend in Norfolk.

My boss, Adrian, spoke to me - he has just lost a close friend and had a couple of days off to go to Cardiff for a memorial service ... we are in a similar place ... saudade - the absence that remains and is ever present.

Thursday 13 July

I heard the applications for Irish citizenship my sister and I have made have been granted. Although I wasn't working today and went to bed late, I was awake at 5am so went into Deal to pick up a package and get some supermarket shopping at 7am. I then had over an hour's sleep late morning before dressing and sorting out some unwanted shoes - for recycling and for charity shops.

Nothing much more has happened today - nail painting, dressing and mooching about. Thoughts of Barbara seep in and are welcomed and every so often I return to the first blog written to picture her at peace. That puts everything into perspective.

And the cactus ... while the flower stalk is withering and I shall not know for a while if there is any seed set, it is having a baby! A little round cactus has appeared!