6.15 am 28 June 2017
The phone rang. I was already awake, but hoping to doze for another hour. It was the hospital. Barbara has passed away. In a confusion of sleepiness and tears I said I could be there within the hour. I threw on some clothes and then my mobile rang. It was Lisa, letting me know. I drove to the William Harvey, some 45 minutes away and letting the tears flow, was shown into the side room I had spent so many hours in over the last five days. It was quiet and the overcast morning shed a soft light. The nurse gently lifted the sheet from her face and there she lay, all pain ended, nightmares gone, all her abusers dismissed into the oblivion she could not drive them into while her tortured mind was active. She was at last free. She was at peace. I stroked her warm cheek, kissed her forehead and whispered my love and goodbye.
For years I had thought about writing a blog, but it seemed such a self-indulgence. Now, I see it as a thread to memory, to love, and a future.
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