Several times a day I think of Barbara, just as I did when she was alive. But back then, it was thoughts about trying to provide her with enjoyment, whereas today it is thinking of the enjoyment she provided me.
She lived for simple pleasures. I think that may have been due to the incomprehensible complexity of the abuse she endured as a child and then an adult. She taught me the value of a simple approach to life.
Her funeral was on Tuesday, 25th July and it was fine - the Eva Cassidy and the Jane McDonald. Robert read out the tributes including the last minute one from Julie Bell, her stoma nurse, who had only been informed on the Monday. I was sitting with Les and Jan and started becoming too emotional during Robert's recounting of my tribute. Les was supportive. Earlier I had thought that Barbara would have wanted Robert to have something for his charities, so I wrote a cheque for £100.
I spoke to Doris and Chris, but left without talking to the family - it would have been awkward and wrong.
I was back to work on Wednesday and Thursday. I was able to start relaxing on Friday. In the evening I made a reference to 'Sharpe' on flickr (Game of Thrones picture) and found myself watching a video of John Tams performing 'Over the Hills and Faraway' at Chequer Mead when Barbara and I were in the audience. She had bought a CD for Mark (I can't remember whether it was music from Sharpe or 'Love Farewell') and John Tams signed it for her. A surge of emotion came through, but that's fine.
Now it is Sunday 30th and I continue my slow sorting out in the house. A HDD docking station arrived on Thursday and I stripped out the drives from the remaining computers on Friday. The next thing to do is see if the SAD lamp is salvageable.
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